To be specific: it kills other people.

I so want to kill someone right now.

I think people can see me putting effort in my smiles. I wonder why I can't act normal in front of relatives nowadays. It's as if I'm all shy around them. Hmm...

Just finished my "meeting" with my aunt about my Lola's 80th birthday come August 29. I volunteered myself to make the program because I just feel like an Event Planner at that time. I managed to make a simple program but I'm kind of proud with the dramatic surprise I came up for my Lola. This party will be great. I'll post pictures as soon as they're available.

I'm planning to answer that call for submission about female pirates or something. Of course Gaby comes into mind whenever I hear female pirates (for those who don't know her, she's my character in my undergrad thesis novella) though I'm still not sure what part of her life I'll be writing about. Heck, I'm not even sure I'll write about her. I have another girl pirate in mind. Hopefully I can pull this through with all the hoolabaloo of my Lola's birthday and the making-up-for-delayed-articles shit of my part-time job. It's due on Sept first.... wew.

Anyway, I'll go back to burying myself with shoujo manga while waiting for my mom.

I think I'm losing something. Sanity perhaps? Or maybe something cliche like Happiness and Life. But whatever that is, it's affecting my work.

Yesterday was hell for me. My boss kept returning my works for revision. I couldn't quite grasp what she wanted me to do and my apparently degrading sense of hearing was not helping at all. I managed to squeeze a few more words for the write-ups and they were finally approved though I think it was more because my boss was leaving already and had no time to criticize them anymore. I got home, tried taking a break but epically failed because I was so pressured with the deadline my part-time employer had set (which was yesterday) and which I managed to fail to keep. I slept early (by early I mean 1am) after squeezing my brain dry and managing to write two paragraphs which were epic failure and had to be revised later.

More failure followed this morning when I didn't wake up at 6am to finish at least one article for my part-time. I woke up at 8, got pissed off because the hair color was still dyeing my towel pink, and got more pissed because there was no REAL breakfast. Yes there was cereal and last night's chicken but no REAL breakfast. I settled with rice and microwave-cooked egg which taste like blah. I came to the office late because of epic traffic just to be reminded that I still owe my boss another product write up.

I think I just lost my point somewhere in the middle of ranting. Oh well. Back to work then.. >.<

Looking forward to Wednesday.

Nope, I'm not attending President Cory's funeral though I'm going to watch it on TV. I don't have much feelings about her being a good president or the leader to freedom or whachamacallems. But I can see that she's a good person and a very good mother; and for that I'm sad that she's gone. She's probably one of the very few good among the many influencial people in the Philippines. Her death is definitely a lost to us.

Grieving aside, I'm looking forward to Wednesday. For one, I get to sleep really late (by late I mean up to 9am >.<). I can also buy the stuff I need like a new mouse and a new jacket though I might delay the latter for the Save-for-Kyoto thingy with AME peepz. I also get to cook meals which I miss terribly. It's surprisingly relaxing to peel potatoes and cut up raw meat. It's also weird that I get all hungry whenever I see raw liver and such. I wonder if I'm really turning into a certified cannibal. @__@

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This morning's gym experience was embarrassing. Apparently, the dye in my hair was not completely washed and, whilst I was sweating my ass off, my shirt was turning into pink because of my hair. I only realized it when I wiped my nape with the towel and saw the pink horror. No wonder people were staring at me as soon as I got off the threadmill. So I had to cut my sweating session short. I went straight to bath and practically washed my hair for almost 5 minutes. 

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What's up with the weather huh?

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I'm sleepy. I want to slack off (although I'm doing that right now) and play Sims 3 or watch the newly downloaded One Piece and Hetalia episodes (internet speed in the office right now is EPIC--in a good way). But I can't. I did promise to myself that I'll do better with my job and when is the better time to start than NOW?

So... uhh.. yeah, I'll work now.

Oh yeah.. this is becoming a series.

Reading other my f-list's updates makes me want to update my LJ too. About what though? Nothing happened today--at least nothing worth noting. I did have a haircut and a somewhat relaxing foot massage (with mani-ped). I also had my hair re-colored into bright red (somehow the same color as Hayley Williams). I did not finish the articles for my part time but that's not new. I sent an advance apology to Dan (my part-time employer) though I wasn't really sorry. I lack motivation to write and I'd rather not submit than to give him a badly written article. Besides, I'm getting paid for last month's articles and the articles-in-progress are for next month so, yeah, procrastinate.

I just updated myself with One Piece episodes. Although I know what will happen for the next 10 chapters or so, I still cried when I saw Luffy cried. It was a cry of ultimate despair. A cry of defeat and regret and everything that makes a person as strong as Luffy cry while hitting his head against the ground. Who wouldn't cry when they see that?

Finally, I feel sleepy.

Hmm.. maybe I'll make this a series..

So, I'm tired as shit. My legs are shaking but that's probably because I threw up about a few minutes ago. My back is aching that I feel like an old man already. But today was a fun day. I never thought I missed hanging out with AME peepz. The bump car was fun too! If only I didn't have to worry about my laptop, I bet it would be twice the fun even though I didn't get enough kill bumping actions.

I braved the epic rain earlier. I was praying every prayer I remembered while the FX was speeding through the highway while the rain was making everything a blur of blinking lights. I wonder if the driver (and us) just got lucky and survived that almost-blind driving trip, but, well, I'm here safe at home. The tricycle driver also made me walk the block just because the road was closed. It took everything for me not to scream at him for not knowing the road was closed. Bastard. He took the same amount even though he only drove me half the way. Karma will get him for me. >.<

I'm not making any sense, I think. My sentences are not connecting--they're not fit to be in a paragraph. But I'm too tired and I still need to do that headline for the brochure due yesterday (yey procrastination!). My part-time is also due tomorrow. 2 articles to go. But I'm a bit inspired to do them so they probably won't take long to be in black-and-white. After all, I'm getting them payments for the past articles. WOOT MONIEZ!!

Which reminds me, I'm starting the Saving-for-Japan thingy. I'm so excited. I think I'll deprive myself of exquisite coffee for the next months so I can have lots of pocket money for Japan (sana talaga tuloy!).

Literally. I'm feeling a lot LOT better now. Since Friday, standing up for more than two minutes takes out the energy in me, I often woke up with a fever, I cough my lungs out, and throw up everything I eat (so I end up not eating at all). But today, I had rice for breakfast and kept it until lunch! Now I can run around with my doggies without getting all shaky in the knees. And my brain is not gooey anymore that I can compose this entry.

Yey for health!!

Anyway, we went to the local parish this morning to attend the mass. Note that we haven't been to our parish since I started college because the parish priest was becoming too political with his sermon. It pissed us off and we started attending mass in the Cathedral which was like 30 mins travel from our house. Well, we had a new parish priest which seemed well loved by the parishioners. Too loved, actually, that we saw the senior citizen guild (yeah, they have that weird guild) all lined up, their umbrellas raised as if in salute, to make way for the priest.

HOW WEIRD IS THAT?

Well, at least the parishioners look happy enough. I knew they were getting tired of the old priest's nonsense but they had no choice because the chapel was the nearest and easiest place to celebrate the mass.

-------------------

Sims 3 is officially eating my life.

I kept promising myself I'll scan the stuff I drew (while procrastinating in the office) and practice coloring them with Photoshop but, well, there's Sims 3.

It's really addicting, what more can I say?

I'm sick. Literally. I suddenly--out of nowhere--started coughing really hard the other day so today I skipped work. I went to the doctor this morning and I can see on his face the rather scary confusion due to my likewise confused symptoms: dry cough, swollen tonsil, throwing up nothing (he even asked me if I was pregnant!). Now I'm taking a bunch of medicines, the half are for my skin because )*$_)#(* body acne is back again.

I'm thinking this epic sickness is because of epic stress. Recently, I've been dreaming of my work--that is, my unfinish work is haunting me in my sleep. My mom said I was traumatized by my co-copywriter getting fired just after two weeks. Maybe that's true. Or maybe because I have no life nowadays other than work. That sucks. @___@

Got the new car today. Traded our Ford Escape with Mitsubishi Montero Sport and it was AMAZING!! Word fail me today because my head is too heavy and I feel like 100 degree celsius inside. But believe me, it was 10x greater than Ford Escape--not to mention 10x higher which makes getting in the car a tad more difficult and awkward.

Just submitted the article for my part time. I delayed it. I procrastinated--to the next level. No thanks to Sims 3 which I find more addicting than Sims 2; and that's not only because of the epic details!

Well I had to sleep now. The medicine's making me dizzy. Every time I stand up, the world would swirl 180 degree and back again.

Do I have the face that makes people talk about their most private lives, rant about people (who are close to me btw), and, well, just trust me with their secrets?

I asked driver-san to take me to the office after I leeched net from my mom's (see last post done while procrastinating). Even before we left the vicinity, he started ranting about "how their office is full of politics." I said, "Aren't all? Mine has too but I tend to ignore it because it will not help me with my work anyway." As if that wasn't cue enough that I'm too sleepy to listen to rants, driver-san went on and ranted about one officemate. I stopped talking by then and was already composing this entry in my mind. Normal people would really stop talking if they get no response from the person they're talking to--at least I would--but, no. Apparently, driver-san is not normal and he went on talking until we reached the office.

It was also driver-san who ranted about my dad to me just last week. Note: MY DAD. Driver-san was telling me my dad was mistreating him. What was he expecting from me? Agree with him and talk badly about my dad? He was not the best dad but he's still my dad and I'm not going to betray him for driver-san who we can replace easily. So again, I didn't say anything and, again, he didn't take that as cue to stop talking too. To make matters worse, I was not feeling well then. I had to use all my remaining energy to stop myself from bitching him around.

And don't get me started on my officemates ranting about each other to me--the newbie. @__@ Suprising, ain't it?

I really do wonder... do I really look like I'll take your secrets with me to my grave?

I am officially adding Globelines to my Hate List (which is still short at the moment). Our net provider in the office is Globe and we have no connection since Friday. But I said, oh well, I can always do my part time at home right?

WRONG.

Globelines seem to hate me. Our net at home kept on disconnecting until it finally decided to not connect at all. I did manage to open most of my references for my part time but it was only good for one or maybe one and a half worth of article. Which sucks because the deadline's tomorrow. Ignoring my apparent procrastinating skills, I can make the deadline if only Globelines is as reliable as they claim they are.

False advertising. I have never been so frustrated until now that I'm in the industry. I try my hardest to come up with a tagline, a story, a script, a concept that may only stretch the truth but will remain the truth nonetheless. That is one thing I learned from our ECD/President and from the marketing books I've been reading recently: never claim what you cannot deliver.

So, dear dear Globelines, DO NOT EFFING CLAIM WHAT YOU CANNOT EFFING DELIVER. Everytime I hear Globlines, "fastest" and "reliable" in one sentence, it makes me want to throw something at someone. Or, more often than not, call the customer service hotline and piss the CSR off.

Now, instead of working out (which has become my natural caffeine) I'm leeching net from my mom's office. AND, instead of doing my article, I'm checking my facebook and updating my journal. Wew.

Procrastinating, that is. Only two days to go--well, technically it's a day and 2 1/2 hours left until deadline and I have yet to start on my 3 articles for my part time job. I couldn't do it in the office because I promised myself to concentrate on the full time work first. Anyway, the office net was down, no thanks to Globe, so I couldn't really do anything anyway.

Recently, they're pairing me up with an officemate. It was getting in my nerves at first but I've learned to ignore and just laugh about it. I'm not going into any detail as to how pathetic this guy is but it got me thinking that I'll probably grow too old before I find the one. I'm not looking for a perfect guy (or might as well kill myself), just someone better than the rest.

ANYWAY, I'm getting addicted to Sims 2--again. Well, I guess you saw that coming with all my procrastinating entries earlier.

Epic.. I just lost my train of thought thanks to Ramon dying (if you don't know who Ramon is, tune in to ABSCBN). Well, better get started on an article. >.<

To say "I had a rough day" would be totally lying. All I did was play Sims 2, leech the interwebs, and draw my chibi version of the Ended while I was in the office. Well, I did some work but, compared to the hours I bummed around, it was nothing.

I miss going to the mall in the middle of the day. No crowds, no line, salespeople are all ears to your needs, and, oh did I mention no crowds? It seems that having some money to buy some stuff meant having no time to by these stuff. Oh Life, how cruel. >.<

This I got from my f-list in multiply. Since I can't think straight while watching Family Guy, might as well just answer this.


( Boyfriend Potential Survey )
Well, that was long. American Dad's on now and I'm starting to feel reaaaally sleepy. I need to wake up early tomorrow for body balance so I better get some Z's. 

I stayed home today. I'm actually feeling a lot better today than yesterday but I don't like anyone reacting whenever I cough so I told my boss I won't be able to go to work today. So today is a ruin-your-chance-to-get-a-life-and-play-Sims-2-all-day day. Fun~

Well, there isn't really much to say when you're doing nothing so I'll get down to business of reminiscing for this meme I nabbed from mooguriklaine :


( 15 years ago meme )  and kyrios_efiastis 
4. went to a beach in Zambales and camped out in the middle of a storm in Laguna for our PE 2
5. became became Purity.

Last year, I:
1. fought against procrastination to finish my undergrad thesis.
2. was in a limbo in finding a good job.
3. went to an AME fair as a customer--for the first time!
4. went to Bataan then to Cavite for Ended overnight.
5. was naive (for the lack of something to say).

Yesterday, I:
1. arrived at the office 30 minutes earlier than everybody
2. played Sims 2 in the office and leeched interweb bandwidth
3. left early from office because of epic headache
4. watched Transformers: Rise of the Fallen instead of going home
5. had a venti white choco mocha with extra whip cream and an egg sandwich from Oliver's which I only threw up as soon as I got home. T__T

Today, I:
1. stayed at home
2. played Sims 2
3. played more Sims 2
4. am watching telenovelas while updating my LJ
5. am waiting for The Wedding. >.<

Tomorrow, I:
1. will wake up early to go to the gym
2. will go to the office and work >.<
3. will try my bestest to stop myself from buying from Delifrance
4. will try my bestest to be nice to one particular officemate
5. will probably start on my second batch of articles for my part-time

3 Bad Habits I Have:
1. Overspending. T___T
2. I tend to stop in the middle when doing stuff
3. I can be too harsh...

Interests at the moment:
1. Sims 2
2. money
3. losing epic weight
4. cafe au lait
5. work (surprisingly)</div>

Is it because I asked for too long a deadline extension that my part-time employers have yet to contact me? This sucks, big time. The effort and the sleepless night which resulted to me getting sick over the weekends will be wasted. >.<

I'm wearing a flu mask which is really making me uncomfortable. I can't breathe normally and my voice is muffled and I had to remove it every time I need to drink. But such is the price of me going to the office even if they said sick people are allowed to go on leave. Why, oh why, did I ever decide I'm well enough to go to work? My brain's functioning a lot slower and my eyes keep closing and every time I cough, my officemates would react. >.<

EDIT: Ah f*ck!!! No wonder my other part-time has yet to contact me. I sent my articles to the wrong ad!! @()*)(#*_$(*)(!!!!!

My head hurts. I want to throw up every time I see the word "diet" and "health."

No, I'm not on a diet nor am I doing some healthy hippie crap; I'm writing for the second part-time job I got since this morning (yeah, I was working on my part-time in the office, leeching the electricity and internet) and I'm starting to get sick of it. And to think this is just my first assignment!

I wouldn't give this up though. At least not yet. I'm still too sane to give up any chance of making money.

I think I just made a HUGE mistake in taking two part-time jobs but I'm too proud to post it in Facebook and Multiply where my office-mates are so I'm coming home to LJ where my f-list is used to me ranting about stuff. I want to sleep. I want to skip work. And I'm praying to all gods of coincidences and accidents to give me flu or even LBM just so I have a reason to stay at home.

So anyway, I'm back.

...something I can't say in Multiply because I went ahead and added my office-mate (who, btw, is the topic of this post). Good thing there's LJ.

Anyway, so yesterday, having nothing better to do and since we're stuck together for the rest of our stay in this company, my office-mate and I started talking about books. She isn't much of a reader which will kind of be her disadvantage when it comes to thinking creative thoughts and witty lines because--no matter how much we try to say it came from us--we are always influenced by the things we "eat." As most people who are not really into reading, she asked if I like Twilight to which, of course, I answered "no." I know I have no right to dislike something without even trying to read it but I've watched the movie and I didn't like any of the lines (which are actually cliche's put together to make a conversation).

So anyway, being half a book geek, I started raving about my favorite books and recommended some to her. She told me she bought Jane Eyre back in high school and she was still in the third chapter. And I was like "whut?! I finished Jane Eyre in three days and that was when I still hated reading books!" Well, anyway, I can understand her since she's not really a literature student. I think she's even better suited as an AE because she has a bubbly, friendly personality which is very important in the accounts department.

After some more minutes of talking about books, we moved on to authors. I talked about Le Guin and raved about Pratchett which was all in vain because she knows neither of them. After the fruitless author subject, we moved to movies. I told her I'm waiting for Coraline to come out in the cinemas and she asked me what the movie was about. And then I said, in a fan-girly kind of way, "It's based on Neil Gaiman's book!" and she was like, "who?"

I was shocked but I tried to dig about her memory for any recognition of one of the best authors today. I told her Gaiman wrote the Sandman series and her reply was epic: "Hindi ba kalaban ni Spider-man si Sandman?" So I gave up. If she didn't know the sandman who goes around making people sleep, then she would have no idea whatsoever of who Neil Gaiman is.

My mom said I was being unfair. Maybe I am. I'm so used in being surrounded by people who know the authors that I know and maybe more that my jaw literally dropped when someone don't know one of the best mainstream authors of today. Gaiman is mainstream right? Like Rowling and, oh well, Meyer?

I get tired too, you know.

Fuck Mondays and dysmenorrhea. Fuck dry eyes and aching head. Fuck, I want to go home.

... or a pencil skirt to complete the salaryman/woman look (no offense to those who like to wear them).

One month and yet I'm already tired. Wait, I was already tired two weeks ago so there wasn't much difference... except, maybe, that my fatigue has now turned into a sort of barrier that makes everything uninteresting. I have a term for this before... something like numb phase where I can't really feel any joy, sadness, enjoyment, anger, or anything at all. It's all just blah. How I wish I'm stressed out instead of this. But one cannot be stressed out if what one is doing for eight hours is not stressful/challenging enough.

I seriously want to leave this place.